Graveltroat

I know when you’re sleeping.

Instrument: Guitar, Vocals
From: undisclosed
Likes: undisclosed
Dislikes: Smiling, Puppies, Kittens, Children, Sunlight, Garlic, You

You would be hard pressed to find a more worldly or well traveled man on this earth than Graveltroat. Although never at a lack of tales from his experiences the world over, he is still quite guarded about the details of his elusive, storied past. Although generally reclusive, GT never hesitates to seize the opportunity to present anyone with his passionate and colorful  insight on the world around him.

Quite an accomplished guitar player, he attributes his six-string playing prowess solely to a man he refers to sketchily as  “The [expletive] Devil Himself”, but fails to elaborate on how this person has contributed to his skill. GT spent years playing the southern American blues circuit as both a solo and ensemble artist but never stayed in one location or arrangement for long. He attributes this to his wanderlust, the general lackluster stupidity of his peers and a frequent event that he sagely identifies as “the [expletive] police always [expletive] my [expletive] up.” Why he has remained this long in Funkmouf Brown remains a mystery even to this day, but he certainly must have his reason.

It was through a series of fortunate events (for those that survived) that Funkmouf met Graveltroat and successfully recruited him into the band. They formed a swift and steadfast relationship which comprises the main creative energy of the group. Funkmouf himself has described their process as “A far out melding of the minds and what not, since we are like brothers from another mother and are on the same plane, feeling the same funky vibe. We can go in with nothing and come out with something most of the time. Of course, that something most of the time ends up being multiple stab wounds.”

Graveltroat is an ornery and feisty character with a rich and varied history. Like most things, he keeps his age a secret and he claims that his birth records were “destroyed in a [expletive] fire a long, long, loooong [expletive] time ago”. In the face of persistent rumors that he may in fact be an ancient and powerful vampire hellbent on the destruction of all human life, Graveltroat only responded with “[expletive] garlic, [expletive] you, [expletive] the [expletive] sun and [expletive] Dracula. Ninja always was a [expletive] attention whore. Borrowed my favorite [expletive] velvet cape and then act like he don’t remember. Just wait ’til I catch his [expletive]”

In any event, no matter how many years have ticked by Graveltroat is always rarin’ to go when its time to bring either the power of The Funk or simply inconceivable violence.